Thing's I'll never say
by iloveeugiene
Summary: I let all my feelings for Harry onstage just letting the vulnerable side show more, instead of trying to hide it away.*Hermione is goth...just go with it!XD


Things I'll never say

I walked down the lockers at school trying to avoid the disgusting mess of teenage boys. That was until I saw him again.

Harry Potter.

The kind of name that just rolls of your tongue like chocolate dripping down my mouth but nowhere near as embarrassing.

Unless you are really stupid I bet you've guessed that I am completely in love with him. I wouldn't admit it of course. Everyone knows him and his usual gaggle of floozies that follow him around but I'm his friend or that's all he knows I want us to be.

I don't hang out with him in front of people because I know that once people realise he hangs out with a freak like me then he'll be excluded too.

Yeah, I'm the freak of our school, of our world in fact. Yep, apparently wherever I go, whoever I love dies.

My parents died, then my brother, Adam, all in a bank burglary gone wrong, and then my last boyfriend, Victor Krum.

Well, he was my only boyfriend.

One of few people, including Harry , to come close enough to me to actually realise I'm not going to curse him or kill him in a sick ritual that will be blessing Satan or something stupid like that.

He died in a Broom crash last year during a freak storm. I was the only person outside his family invited to his funeral. No one knew he was my boyfriend we pretended to be friends because of his clingy ex-girlfriend who moved away after he died. My adoptive parents were really kind in helping me get over him, Jennie and Tom.

I loved Harry and he loved me as a friend but he didn't care if people knew we were friends so I just went along with it pretending I was shocked that he even knew my name.

I saw him grin at me then walk away from his crowd, the boys drooling over some girl with her skirt so high that it was more of a large belt and shirt so tight it could have been a five year olds.

My eyes widened by every second that he took moving toward me.

"What are you doing? You know you can't talk to me in public!" I shout-whispered.

He rolled his gorgeous green eyes. "You know I don't care about that shit Mione!" He laughed.

My name is Hermione but I think that makes me sound about…..100 years old. "Anyway I wanted to show you this."

He pulled a flyer out of his back pocket. I took it gingerly pretending to wipe off his butt germs, shuddering every few wipe. He rolled his eyes again and laughed.

I rolled it out smoothing it down and my jaw dropped when I read the words printed in pink.

BLEUGH!

'School Talent Show! Come whether or not you actually have a talent.'

I looked back up to see Harry grinning down at me.

"Are you doing it? I didn't know you could sing!" I asked grinning back, slightly confused.

"Well, I am doing it with my band but I kinda…well…" He shifted from one foot to the other, looking awkward.

"Harry . Spit it out. No drooling." I joked. He looked at me strangely. I rolled my charcoaled black eyes.

Yep. I'm a goth as well. And that really makes me even more popular in a school filled with Barbies and future Katie Prices. Nice huh!

He brushed my dyed red streak, making me blush under my ton of foundation, which he fortunately couldn't see, and then he grinned sheepishly.

"I-may-have-put-you-down-to-sing-for-it." He mumbled quickly but not quick enough for me not to catch it.

"WHAT?" I shrieked making everyone in the hall jump but seeing it was me look away not interested.

"Are you mad?" I whispered furiously. I regretted ever telling him I loved to sing.

"If it helps I'm entering my band in?" He said more as a question than a statement.

"I'm going to kill you later." I glared at him as he did a happy dance.

I walked onto the stage with Harry , the rest his band all got detention for playing too loud, waiting behind stage. I could see the audience was surprised it was me not a popular girl again.

I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and opened my mouth to sing Things I'll never say by Avril Lavigne.

_I'm tugging at my hair_

_I'm pulling at my clothes_

_I'm trying to keep my cool_

_I know it shows_

_I'm staring at my feet_

_My cheeks are turning red_

_I'm searching for the words inside my head_

_(Pre-chorus)_

_(Cause) I'm feeling nervous_

_Trying to be so perfect_

_Cause I know you're worth it_

_You're worth it_

_Yeah_

I was too involved in the song to notice the shocked silence of the hall and just stayed in my little bubble on the stage just cave in and take me away.

_(Chorus)_

_If I could say what I want to say_

_I'd say I wanna blow you... away_

_Be with you every night_

_Am I squeezing you too tight?_

_If I could say what I want to see_

_I want to see you go down_

_On one knee_

_Marry me today_

_Guess, I'm wishing my life away_

_With these things I'll never say_

I let all my feelings for Harry onstage just letting the vulnerable side show more, instead of trying to hide it away.

_It don't do me any good_

_It's just a waste of time_

_What use is it to you?_

_What's on my mind?_

_If it ain't coming out_

_We're not going anywhere_

_So why can't I just tell you that I care_

_[Pre-Chorus]_

_[Chorus]_

_What's wrong with my tongue?_

_These words keep slipping away_

_I stutter, I stumble _

_Like I've got nothing to say_

I heard someone walking behind me; I just ignored it, ignoring the small breathless gasps of the girls from the audience. My body moved to the melody but not dancing.

_Guess I'm wishing my life away with these things I'll never say _

_If I could say what I want to say_

_I'd say I wanna blow you...away_

_Be with you every night_

_Am I squeezing you too tight?_

_If I could say what I want to see_

_I want to see you go down_

_On one knee_

_Marry me today_

_Guess, I'm wishing my life away_

_With these things I'll never say_

I took a deep breath as I felt myself try and get back together from letting myself go.

_These things I'll never say._

I opened my eyes to see a sea of people all looking completely amazed.

I felt someone's arm go around me and remembered that I had heard someone come up to me. I was being carried off of the stage and into a dark closet.

Umm…I know I'm not popular but possible rapist taking me away into a closet? Anybody? No? Well…how rude.

I reached up and pulled the light on the ceiling to find Harry . I was a little bit confused because he was pacing back and forth. His face was contorted with anger, confusion, hurt and something else not sure what though.

"Um…Harry ?" He looked up at me and started to ask me quick-fire questions.

"How did you sing like that? Why haven't you sung to me before? Who was that song for?"

My heart stopped beating at the last question and so I looked at him, in an awkward silence for a few minutes.

"Well, I guess I've always sang that way. You never asked and…"

I shifted from one foot to the other mimicking his move from before. Harry had calmed down but was still suspicious of my last answer. He just kept looking at me then, on its own, my mouth said.

"You, Harry . It's always been you." When he didn't say anything I turned to walk away and left the closet.

Half way down the hall I realised that I'd told him and that he didn't care. I couldn't stop the flood of tears that rushed down my cheeks. Thank you waterproof mascara.

I ran down the hall faster and faster until eventually crashing into someone. It was Ron,

He changed his name from Ronald, which I think is a nice name! He was one of Harry 's friends who talked to me and didn't ignore me if some girls walked by. I had a crush on him ages ago when I was fighting my crush on Harry but gave up on it and let myself just fall into my Harry obsession.

"Hey! Mione! Oh my…you were amazing!" He gushed kinda scary for me because I normally see girls gush. Plus I was kinda pressed up against him so AWKWARD? Or what?

I felt someone else grab me away from him before I could answer. I looked up to find it was…Harry ? He gave Ron a glare which made Ron run down the hall, and since the talent show was still going on, no-one else was in the hall we were completely alone. I turned around to look at him properly for him to grab me and say something I'd been waiting years for him to say.

"I love you, Mione. Next time give me a chance to explain or say something. Not that there will be a next time."

I reached up and sang into his ear before lowering my lips to his for the delayed kiss that turned my insides and my legs to turn to jelly.

"I'm feeling nervous

Trying to be so perfect

Cause I know you're worth it

You're worth it

Yeah

If I could say what I want to say

I'd say I wanna blow you... away

Be with you every night

Am I squeezing you too tight?

If I could say what I want to see

I want to see you go down

On one knee

Marry me today

Guess, I'm wishing my life away

With these things I'll never say"

"You are perfect, I'm worth it."

He flicked his hair, making me laugh.

"You already blow me away every time you blink those big supposedly innocent eyes. But I have to say. We should take this slow. Or at least slower than marriage I mean I'm only 17." He laughed, making me giggle as we kissed once more.

We both laughed thinking the same thing.

The things I never said should have been said a long time ago.


End file.
